Blinded Love

"You looked at him" He was pissed.

"What?" She laughed homorless. „Maybe I looked who cares it’s not like it was more.” She rolled her eyes which made his anger boil even more. “Shut up. No one can touch my girl.” “And no one touched your girl darn it. He was just giving me a smile and I smiled back. No big deal.” She was excited for the party since she knew about it but the situation right now was something she didn’t imagen. Well actually she did but not this way. She thought he would respect her, respect her feelings atleast tonight. But it seems impossible. Now they were standing here in the floor arguing about something which didn’t seem important for her at all. Bus as usual jealousy got the best of him and here they were fighting again. His face was already crimson red and she didn’t leave his eyes. They were dark and round. Blinded by all the anger in his body. She knew if she would left his eyes for one single second this won’t end well. “Come with me.” He just grabbed her hand harshly pushing her in the next empty room followed by him. With a loud crash the door was closed and she found herself pinned against the wall right next to the door. Their bodies only inches away from each other. Her hands were on his chest to push him away. His hand found its place on her wrist and the other one right next to her head. She didn’t felt comfortable at all but screaming was impossible. She could hear the music blasting no one would hear her. Her chest was slowly raising up and down. She knew panic wouldn’t help neither did crying and showing weakness. He was pushing his body and whole weight even harder on her. Her breathes got heavier and shorter. She kept silent. “Listen baby listen closely. You are my girl and if you are my girl there are no other boys neither as flirt nor as friends. You are mine and only mine and keep it that way. I don’t give a damn what you are telling me. I know what I saw and it was enough.” With that he crashed his hand right next to her head in the wall. You could hear something crack. Her lips left a whimper her head moved faslty. “Did I told you to move bitch?” His hand found its place on her cheek. Again. Again. Again. She stopped caring about not showing her weakness. Tears kept streaming down her cheeks. Her make up was a mess her cheeks turned red but she kept silent. Her eyes are never leaving him. Her small hands trying to push him away but it was no use he was way stronger then her. “Stop crying like a little baby” He screamed on the top of his lungs while pushing her hard in the wall again holding her wrist tightly. A painful moan left her lips which were swollen and bleeding. Slowly she closed her eyes the pain taking over her body. He grabbed her hard in the hair bringing her head near his until his lips were about to touch her left ear. His other hand found its place in her upper arm. The fingers slowly leaving their marks in on the skin In a whisper he told her “Stop crying. Fix yourself and go home. If anyone finds out you know what will happen.” Pushing her one last time right into the wall he leaves without looking back.

Slowly she slides down the wall. The tears just falling down. Now she felt like slapping herself. Again she was under his spell. Again she let him walk over her. Again she let him hurt her while being speechless. Slowly she stood up while moaning in pain searching for the bathroom. Taking out her make up she fixed her self the best she could and fake smiled into the mirror one last before heading out. She avoided everyone. Her best friend stopped her. “Come on let’s dance you were so excited for the party.” “Sorry Bi I’m tiered. I will go home but promise me to have fun without me.” Again the fake smile appeared on her face. Without waiting for a reaction she made her way home and cried herself to sleep.

The ringing doorbell woke her up . Without looking in the mirror she opend the door. Her eyes were bloodshot, her cheeks swollen and red. On her lips you could see blood from last night. All over her arms were marks. Red. Blue Purple. Luckily her back was covered with her shirt. And he was standing right in front of her Showing no guilt. No emotions at all. He just sneaked his hands around her waist and soon there lips were moving in sync.

RAMADHAN :)

sgt berabuk blog saya, tidak ada mood utk update, byk keja lg nk buat kot?

so skrg dh bulan puasa, selamat berpuasa utk semua, bulan Ramadhan, bykkan beribadah kepada nya..

pastikan kejadian angin puting beliung di Jasin, Melaka tidak berulang,

kita dah di akhir zaman..
=peace, nadiah=

you used to be my everything

For each step I take
I will think of you
after all your just the dirt
grinding up in my shoe.

How much I hate you now
for all the things you done
for you could never know
because I hate you a ton.

You make my heart bleed
every time I see your face
and my fist tighten
when I think of this waste.

Rage fills my soul
every time I hear your name
anger fills my mind
knowing nothing can be the same.

I'm still building back up
after you tore off all ties
but I tell you it is for the better
because I'm sick of your stupid lies.

Pity yourself all you want
I don't care anymore
but I tell you time heals all wounds
and complaining is becoming a bore.

Your not fooling anyone
with ur innocent smile
we all can see you're faking
because time takes awhile.

Why do you expect everyone
to look at you as they walk by
your know different then anyone
this is something you don't understand why.

I am not stupid
so quit and leave me alone
quit calling me a stupid b**ch
and live your life on your own.

You are no part of me
your the one that broke all ties
I don't give a damn anymore
I'm sick of you keep saying your goodbyes.

Give up already
because you're really getting me pissed
I don't care what you think of me
so would you learn to let me be.

Stop calling me a b**ch behind my back
your just mad because I now don't want to be your friend
I didn't want to give up but you gave me no choice
so now I gave "the queen her highness" the end.

I'm sick of you
you hurt me more then you think I hurt you
stop blaming me for what has happened
because I'm sick of feeling this pain by the things you say and do.

Why do you even care
can't you just ignore
after all your the one that can't forgive
this is really becoming a bore.

Come up with something new
after all it will just be another lie
but at least you will have something else to do
besides always saying goodbye.

Blah blah
I don't care
will you please just end this now
because I'm sick of you saying 'will always be there'.

yo!

hahahaha lama nya x update!


bosan bosan bosan!


aktif twitter!


exam selasa nih =S



takut takut takut



nak duit duit duit



haaa so pandai2 translate sendiri!

xx

dance bebeh

so today, im searching for my own dance group members, but only got two, so i will continue searching until i meet the most suitable candidate yeah (loll whatever)




so knapa sy nk aktif dance blk? simple, hobby, keep fit, n fun!!




so i've plan, after i get 2 or 3 members more than kna cr tmpt yg sesuai for practicing, n step yg sesuai. oh yes i had got 1 choreography, from demi lovato 17th birthday party (just type it on youtube) and just waiting to teach my group!! (it will be fun)




so, dh xda idea, otk lembap, pkul 3:41 n still cant sleep. hectic everyday but having
sleeping disorder, WEIRD.


bye guys XOXO

stay in curve!

its saturday again! n now its raining outside. n of course im delight inside!!


hehe i've done something stupid with my boy yesterday n it was fun!! real fun!! ;) i love u! MORE


so today i've done nothing i guess, wake up, then made some lunch(spaghetti bebeh!!), check my twitter, fb n blog n yeah also tweets my idol demi n miley in twitter yeah love them! i also do aerobic ouh pancit!! hahaha right now waiting for my friend to come! miss her!! =)






so what i plan to do tonight maybe, hangout with dalila, zul n my boy, chillin' ..emm yeah that's all! hahaha guys! i have to sit for test in monday so better be prepare ha?!


so, i wants to share several tips for those who want to stay in curve (not skinny!) for me, firstly, u better eat rice only once a day. then before u eat, remember to eat any fruits so it will be easy for your body to digest later, then,do not consume anything after 7p.m, its important! and ensure u drink 8 glass of plain water per day. sleep well! =) it easy guys try it!

am i really need to change??

i like to dance and have fun


that's me.


so dont even think that u can change me.


even my parent allowed me to do what i like, but with permission and know the limit


yes, i cant be tamed!

GIRLS

if he said he love u, there are 4 logical reasons behind it,


first, u have MONEY


second, u r too hot for him to show around,


third, u r easy to 'get' yeah u know what i means beb


lastly, he really cant live without u..=)



THINK!!

insomnia

it nearly a week i think i have this sleeping disorder, ouh help me.

n now, i still cant sleep n it almost 4 a.m God, i have to settle my ptptn tommorow n have afternoon class. again how can i focus in the class? *sigh*



erm, right now i have a wish which if its come true, i will be the most happiest girl in this world! i want to meet demi! pls pls pls come to malaysia!



demi lovato im adore u!!

jenis manusia yg pelik

hari ni good kembali baik! nothing special just mayb sebab clas ptg xda (tp kena jwb kuiz gk la) n trus g convocation my sis! (congrat)

urm, tp esok dorng dh nk blk so sy akan tido keseorangan tanpa mendengar suara rozi n kiki yg sgt bising! :(







SO, harini sy nk senaraikan jenis manusia yg pelik, myb dia lahir time gerhana matahari, dlm facebook!

sungguh pelik bila :

first, letak gambaq mcm pelacur! dia pelik sbb dia x rasa malu menunjukkan segala lurah, kangkang dan yg berkaitan kepada org ramai! malah rasa bangga. bajet hot! mayb bukan bajet tp mg hot, tp still, melayu tuh seakan trletak pada nama dan dh hilang..setakat xpakai tudung xpa lg, nih x, mengalahkan jenifer lopez! pening2


second, ada gambaq webcam ja dlm semua album! siap asing2 ikut tarikh, hari. bulan ,dan tahun. semua dr gmbr syok sendiri yg ditangkap selepas memakai make up, eye liner, bulu mata palsu dan sebagainya! (nmpak cun gila nihh!!) xphm!! sila lah bwk camera anda menikmati pemandangan di luar sana! sy ada satu idea, bwk lptop anda skali ya bila kuar, blh tgnkap gmbaq webcam! haa sbb sy boring tgk almari tuala anda di belakang tuh. sekian.


third, pasangan couple yg dgn tidak segan silunya bercerita ttg 'permainan mereka'. mcm ''ala syg geram laa kt baby dduk atas katil smlm", "heks geramnya rindu kt dada tu". ish rindu lips ngn pungkok tu" i meanss!!! wtf guys??!! are u notice other people can read ur text? omg malu kot. ampa biaq betoi?? nk ngaku x virgin pon agak2 la. nk jd bad girl pon agak2 la! do u think when people reply to ur statement, they really like u? the only thing that they can think is, ouh dah robek pmpuan nih. SHAME OF URSELF GIRL!! U BETTER CHANGE IT!!


ha yg nih agak sama dgn benda di atas, bila couple yg tlampau obses. PELIK. yes, mg semua org akan excited bila couple, but get a life!!! jgn nk show off sgt yg korng loving caring whatever, n sampai obses tiap2 hari nk state ayat loving2 geli2 mak! ohhh damn! this people should really know , for only 3 years, things never be better! blum kahwin beb! jgn confident sgt!!


yg kelima! bila status deret nk mngata org!, memerli org!, emo!, memaki org!, tunjuk yg dia teraniaya! i means, tiap2 hari nk sedih! come on laa pelik kot ampa nihh?? mg la ada time kita down, tp x pyh la stiap masa. rimas, lemaih, lemaih prot suma cukop aih! MELUAT OK!


yg keenam, haa ini plg pelik. bila nama, perangai, perkataan, status, gambaq, suma pelik!! weirdo ok! contohnya, nama, ku suka bulan?? pedia nih?in facebook should be ur name ok? status, lihatlah dunia menerusi bulan? tlglaa terang kt sy apadia?gambaq, muka berok.wth men?? u r human not sort of animal. penin la manusia skrg nihh



itu adalah LIST PENDEK ANTARA BNDA PELIK DLM FACEBOOK. ya list pendek. ada lg yg sgt pelik tp wat dosa ja dok type byk2 kata kt org. loll. ok then inilah jadinya kalau bosan tp xdpt tido huehuehue, apa2 pon esk xda clas pagi! yeye.,then i should stop n wish to u, be a normal person ok!! =)

siapa yg sy cari

dia yg syg parent sy dan hormat parent sy mcm sy hormat dan syg parent sy sendiri


dia yg kuat bekerja, dan tidak menghabiskan masa dengan benda2 yg tidak berfaedah


dia yg selalu mempunyai keinginan utk menuntut ilmu dan seperti sy, meletakkan ilmu di tmpt yg paling penting


dia yg sederhana dan tidak megah dengan wang ringgit


dia yg sgt romantik dan slalu bg sy bunga (even bunga x mahai pon kan petik tepi jln pon xpa)


dia yg selalu mengingati birthday sy =)


dia yg tegas, tp xkn pukul sy.

dia yg tahu ttg agama, even dia xkuat agama, tp tunjang agama ttp ada.

dia yg dpt memahami sy, dan xpaksa sy berubah mengikut kehendak dia, yg blh terima sy seadanya..


dia yg tidak panas baran dan manja dgn sy..


dia, bkn hensem gila, hanya manis di mata sy sorang..


dia yg x gatal, dan xminta benda bukan2 dr sy!


dia yg ssh nak mencarut dan cool..(maknanya pendiam dan gentleman)


dia yg akan panggil sy syg, dan manjakan sy..dia juga blh melindungi sy

DIA YG SY CARI...

u..
i will wait for u..
even know, i do not know who n where r u..
but i believe..
God have made u for me...
u r my husband..
u will meet me..
u will love me..
to the end of my life.. =)

sy dh GEMOK!

ok ini mg menyakitkan at, but yes! sy dh gemok! baju dh semakin kecik. jeans dh semakin sendat!waa nightmare! muka dh semakin montel oh oh prot dh semakin boncet!so sy kena stop bwt suma bnda di bwh!

• mkn kek coklat sambil online!! oh tidak sedap kott hukhuk. dh stop2!!
• msk nasik goren pukui 12 mlm! yala mlm x tdoq jd pontianak masuk dapoq!
  
• suruh my sis teman sy kt sini!1 sbb keja dia msk! msk! msk! msk non stop. bukak mata p dapoq! kalau xdak kat dapoq, cnfirm dia tidoq! dia br dpt penyakit nih 4 hari lepas! pelik!
• bkk peti ais sejam skali. uuu jgn dahhhhh!! pth blk pth blk nadiah
• gaduh ngn amar. haaa nih penyebab yg plg kritikal. kalau aku sedih aku keja nk makan makan makan. remedy la kira tp nah amik hg jd peti ais dh
• parking keta dekat2 bila nk naik faculty! haaa parking jauh naa start isnin nih naik la tangga batu cave faculty tuh, mau tau laa mg mantap peha!
• singgah 3 tmpt mkn kalau dating. haa hatni kena stop!! ingat lepas nih kuaq bwk 10 inggit jaa lolll! eh xleh2..30 laa..eh sat nk tgk wyg g 40 la maximum. hihihi
• makan nasik! haaa kena stop masak nasik! kena stop nadiah jgn taip ja mg kena stop!!(tp lanih dok mkn buboq kot)
• bg amr mkn byk2. ha nih pon kna stop. pasai dia dok suap sama kalau dia mkn byk so automatic sy pon mkn byk!!

ok nih la list yg sy kena stop bwt utk skrg, byk lg sbnaqnya penyebab sy semakin lebaq! oh ohhh

kesusahan sbg sy!

urm, actually today is Saturday so for normal person, it means its the day for chilling out with friends, bf bla bla bla. but not me. i prefer to stay at home release my mind so for the next weekdays i can stay focus in class. the only activity that i might do is grab my car's key and drive to ss7, where i can find my bf =) but i give him a break today as today is his convocation day (congrats my emok!)

so, now i will tell a story to you, about how this life is difficult to me n it will be in BAHASA MELAYU! sy org melayu kot? hm firstly oh GOd stop me. ok yg pertama (hehe)

aku sgt ssh nk tolakk permintaan org. dlm pkataan laen la kan, aku sgt bodo kot?? haha mai la mintak apa pon kan, aku selagi boleh nk tlg, even aku mg xpt tlg pon sbnqnya! haihh ssh2. kdg2 sampai menyusahkan diri aku sndiri pon aku sanggup, sampai org amik kesempatan la menyusahkan aku, n bila dh sedaq, aku just merungut. TP ULANG BLK PERANGAI YG SAMA!!

kedua, aku sgt menurut org yg aku syg!! nih suruh aku gali tanah masuk dlm tuh pon aku turut aih. tatau la pasaipa. serius sakit at kot! tp masalahnya aku dok sedaq yg aku dok turut dia. tp mg xlehh nk lawan. hmm..kdg2 mg sedih! tp xpat nk ubah. dia adek beradek masalah pertama gk la kan. tolong ketok kepala sy blh??

ha yg nih plg skt at. aku slalu di label sbg bdk nakal + sosial. pelik pelik pelik! aku x minum arak, x isap rokok, x amik drugs pon. tp, especially utk makcik2 la, tgk aku ja mula la mulut nk jahat. mayb because (ha tudia kuaq blk) aku nih x pakai tudung? pastu suka dok tuduh aku dye rambut! kdg2 skt at smpai pnh kt hosptl ada mkcik sound aku ORG KAPIAQ JA XPAKAI TUDUNG! gulp!! mana bebai ponnn berapi kepala! makcik, sy bkn xnk pakai, tp blum bersedia, bila sy rsa sy bersedia, sy akan pakai dan target sy lepas kawin mg sy pakai. (ok konon2 mkcik tuh ada blog la reti baca?)

keempat, aku nih loyal sgt. kdg2 ada time aku mtk kt tuhan tlg la bg aku jd play girl!! sbb aku x kan hurt, just hurt org ja. ssh la sgt aku nk tgk org lain kalau aku dh ada buah hati (padia nih ayat geli kot). yala..bnda nih mg la baik, tp kalau org yg aku syg tuh x baik utk aku, so bnda nih akn jd x baik sbb aku xbg kesempatan kt org lain yg lebih baik kt aku..hu..nih sedaq nih!! tp xmau nk ubah!! bkn xmau mg xlh kot?? bg ayat vodoo tgk kot blh ubh sy??

kelima, pemaaf xkena tmpat. agaknya kalau aku kena tmbak ngn polis pastu aku idup, mg aku x bwk g court kot? aku mest maafkan polis tuh (sampai cmtuh skali!!) so, bnda nih sgt bagus utk enemy2 aku. mai ja raya umah, aku tarak nk halau ehh tp kalau org yg aku sgt syg hurt aku, so aku xpt nk tgk muka dia dh. bkn sbb aku xmaafkan dia, tp sbb aku akan nangis.

haa becakap pasal nangis!! aku senang gila nangiss!! nangis tgk movie! nangis kena marah! nangis tgk binatang sakit!! nangis bila geram! nangis bila kecewa! suma nk nangis aihh. pantang! bf xmau ckp ngn aku pon aku nangis! ish tp bukan nk nangis! ayaq mata nih mg kuaq sendiri kott?? PAYAH. uhhhh

haaa nih yg paling critical! aku emo! memanjang rsa sakit hati. doktor ckp pasal hormon x btoi.kureng toi. yala tp kdg2 aku bkn nk mrh pon org tuh, tp suara aku trkuat. niat tadak pon mcm nk mrh. pelik toi. tatau la sbb aku pekak skit kot?? letih kdg2 org label minah nih garang. tp sbenaqnya dok kena buli kot 24 jam. ssh btoiii

sy sgt pelupa!! absent minded trok. bnda nih start dr thn lepas! sblm nih bg buku teks pn aku leh hafal, tp skrg nih mg x laaa. gelong dh kepala. mungkin sbb aku suka study last minute so dh effect. hmm..kadang2 br baca 2 minit lepas ja tp dh lupa! hf suka ltk rata! suma bnda nk ilang. aduhh kepala sengett


sy suka sakit! ini mg sbb antibodi xkuat dr kecik. stakat nih dh berbagai penyakit sy dpt. SEMOGA TUHAN PJGKAN UMUR SY. tp ada org pnh ckp, org yg slalu skt, tuhan syg lebih =)

lastly yg ssh jd sy ialah, anda xkn dpt kegembiraan yg org len dpt even anda better dan jauh lg baik dr org itu. =) but still, i am thankful that i still alive in this world =)

good day nadiah!

till now all was great!
last night i cant slept till i didnt noticed when i fall asleep,

n, at 12:45pm, he called n said his parent want to meet me! oh no! of course i didnt made any preparation i means, what im gonna wear? what im gonna talk, ask? if they do not like me as i am shy to talk with people that i never meet before..but, for him, i will try to be cool! (haha)

yes i didnt have a good outfit and scarf oh no but my room mate lend me her thing so i didnt have so much time to think or to pick or to choose either!!

when i arrived, his father is such a lovely person, as his warm welcoming made me cool down a little bit..then thanks to God! his mother also a lovely person! before this i always imagine that his mother will be fierce when she meet me, but totally not! she's so graceful and lovely n i its not difficult for me to make her as my own mom =)

we talk about many things, n his father also advise us to focus on our study n never forget to pray n remember God..same thing that my parent always told me..=)

yes till now im satisfied with my day., hope it will be good, as my boy do not complain about anything.. hope i worth for them..=))

a precious gift..(5may2010,18:52,by me)

i don't know, i felt like i messed up,
like what i thought when i made that decision?
means, should i gamble my future like that?,
i don't know, i can't find the real answer,
i can't make it, i'm so fed up,
i think time have thought me a lot,
about people's act, about people's promise,
which are all fake!,
why im the one that always be blame?,
mayb bcoz , im the one who chose this path.,
so, can i turn it back?
or, my way is already fixed to this?,
i have to choose, i have to change,
but it will be like KAIZEN, slow and continuously,
like i always do, like i always be,
but im not stupid, coz this is a GIFT,
that no one can handle, no one can bear-